Sunday Evening Community Choir Concert in Figline

There is nothing quite like a community music event.  The parts that happen outside of the actual musical numbers are usually as entertaining as what is happening on stage.  Tonight was no exception. It was a beautiful evening with cool, gentle breezes and not a cloud in the sky (right there you know we’re not in China).  They had a very ambitious program without an intermission, 90 minutes of popular Italian songs in the first half, and opera choruses, mostly Verdi with a little Macsagni. Bellini, and Puccini mixed in for variety. They sang as well as most community choruses sing, but as I age I appreciate more and more that, like me, they like to sing, and that’s enough.

But I digress….back to the fun stuff.  Let me introduce our first character. First they were doing a rather saucy number about the various lovers someone had.  [There was a large baritone who gave an introduction to each number in Italian and I could follow most of it by pretending he was speaking Spanish with a speech impediment.] During said number, in the beginning a very round blonde woman who was front and center began to wiggle her hips during the chorus.  There were several refrains so then she had to up the anti by hip bumping her neighbor the second time, who, after momentarily looking alarmed, joined in freely For the final chorus the lady gave her music to the woman next to her, turned her bottom to the audience, then proceed to spank herself in time with the music with a twinkle and a smile. young child in front of me sat up and immediately giggled, which made me want to laugh even more, but I was a guest so looked straight ahead and bit both cheeks.

Character #2: the stage manager/sound engineer.  A 30-40ish man with a bald head, protruding panza covered with a very tight white t-shirt and jean shorts. I know what he looked like because he took his place on stage to the left and center of the choir and conductor.  While on stage he paced back and forth, encouraged the conductor with a wink and applause from time to time, smoked, gulped some water and threw a little on his face, wiped his face with his tight t, exposing the tummy under it, etc.  At one point a beautiful butterfly entered the stage, and was enjoyable to watch as it flitted around.  It made the mistake of flitting on the head of the pianist (another character to yet enter our story) and he made a few frantic swipes at it.  At this point the “sound engineer” took some menacing steps toward it with a face that said “How dare you, I will end you.”  He moved around with such an omnious appearance he conjured up Tony Soprano readying to blow the butterfly to the next world.

Finally, the pianist.  Ahh, he provided delight for every number, but really got wound up during the operatic pieces.  This man was an excellent pianist, playing full-orchestra reductions for the opera pieces.  He also could have schooled Liberace on the art of dramatic gesticulation.  He looked like he was being shocked by the piano keys, he flew his arms around so quickly.  His page turning could also win some competition, specifically for the combination of speed and drama. While waiting for the conductor’s signs, he would crouch like a tiger about to strike. He had several moves in his repertoire and used them all to great effect.  My particular favorite was the “end the piece” move, in which he would wildly throw his arm back, and follow with a body slam against the chair to appear as if he’d been shot.  I caught a mild one on film, so have a look: 

Great, right???? You couldn’t pay for this kind of entertainment.  It was a great night of music, but an even greater night for humanity and humor.